Knee Highs, My Secret Weapon

Here’s What…

I have a secret weapon…knee highs.

Some of you following along may know that I rock a retro style these days…knee highs. Some of you may not know this, but I have at least 10 pairs and I rock them with dresses, skirts and boots. Many of them are different colored argyle, some pairs are striped, a couple pairs have polka dots, and I even have one pair with pink peace signs. It seems that whenever I wear them, people talk to me…they have to comment on the socks in some way.  

I started wearing them just for fun cuz I liked the slight funkiness they add to an outfit…and the way that I could still maintain some sort of sexiness without pushing my breasts up to my neck (really the socks even work with a sweatshirt over a shapeless dress!) But, once I realized how people reacted to them, I started thinking of them as a secret weapon I could pull out if needed.

So, today, as I was getting ready to head out to an open interview for a cocktail serving job in Santa Monica (having NO cocktail serving experience, by the way) I decided it was the perfect time to utilize my secret weapon…yes, cue the 007 theme music! Today’s choice was a particularly fun pair of bright blue, gray, and white argyles that I wore with camel suede boots. I set off to the interview rockin’ the heck out of my socks and feelin’ funky! As I sat at the bus stop waiting for the first of my 2 buses, someone drove by and honked. Yep, the socks were working…

I don’t usually notice if people honk or shout out their windows at me (as many of my friends will tell you) but today was exceptionally full of reactions and I started keeping track so I could tell you all the details. On my bus and walking travels today, I was honked at 27 times and shouted at 13. I was bought a drink when I stopped to catch some of the SDSU basketball game (which really doesn’t happen that often) And, as I’m sitting here in the coffeehouse writing, I am secretly hoping the knee highs will continue to work their magic on my coffeehouse crush.

I am a cute girl, but definitely no supermodel that gets honked at and checked out all the time…but these socks are like a girl’s best friend (diamonds have been usurped!) Although, I think what it really boils down to is the fact that wearing knee highs makes me happy and makes me feel funky, sexy, and fun…so of course other people will notice when I’m glowing from inside out!

I think the knee highs are really a secret weapon for myself…like a confidence bomb, a cannon that shoots out inner pizzazz…that’s the secret that makes knee highs such a great weapon…and THAT’S WHAT!

Man, I'm old!

Here’s what…

Man, I’m old!

Ok, I don’t really think this about myself…33 is definitely not old and, most of the time, I feel and act like I’m in my 20’s. (And thankfully I have good genes and most people say I look like I’m in my late 20’s!) But, sometimes, things do happen that make my sit up and admit, “Man, I’m old!” What things, you ask? Well, nothing as obvious as walking with a cane or wearing polyester, but an occasional hint at my age does come my way.

Like, when I’m out at a bar or club, enjoying a few drinks, listening to music, dancing, feeling like a young minx…when I realize that the music is just too loud, or the place is just too crowded, or I just can’t stand seeing another hot mess down a Jager shot…that’s when it hits me, “Man, I’m old!”

Like when my roommate and I have planned a movie night and suddenly its 11:30pm and we are just starting to watch an overly long epic like Benjamin Button and I know I won’t be in bed till 2:30am and I consider not even watching the movie cuz that is so late…that’s when I hear it… “Man, I’m old!”

Like when I’m in a production of a musical like The Will Rogers Follies and I’m expected to lay with my back on a small stair with my neck bent back over the stair to look at the audience while I do a slow fan kick split with my legs in the air followed by racing down the stairs to join a kickline and high kick for 12 counts of 8 and I remember how I never USED to have to warm up and I never USED to get sore doing this (back when I was the ripe old ages of 17 and 20) and now I want to sit in a Jacuzzi and get a massage after every performance…that’s when I feel it…“Man, I’m old!”

But, the newest, most recent hint came yesterday when LA was a rainy (make that monsoon-y) wonderland and I was staying put in my pj’s on the couch watching Season 3 of Arrested Development (nope, that’s not even the hint yet) I was sore and achy ALL day…and I’m not sick. It was the kind of sore that comes from deep in your bones. At one point I got up to open my sliding glass door and look out at the rain and as I hobbled my sore bones across the living room, I actually said, “Wow, this rain is major, I can feel it in my bones” Yikes!!! The ultimate “Man, I’m old!” moment! I felt it in my bones…oh boy, there goes my “young cred”…next stop, Florida!

So, while I am a vibrant and youthful 33, it seems I can’t hide from the fact that sometimes and in some situations, I’m old. But, I’m gonna embrace it and wear it…I may even hit the local thrift store and look for safari print polyester I can rock…so, keep your eyes peeled for my hot, old, polyester-clad self next time you’re out because…

Man, I’m old…and THAT’S WHAT!

Take that Murphy!

Here’s What…

Who is this guy “Murphy” anyway? And what kind of life must he have…his Law stinks!

Today I’m at my coffee shop spending a few hours writing my web series and taking a little longer than I need to since I’ve decided I have a crush on one of the guys that work here. (Yep, I decided a couple days ago…I think it’s a result of having no one else even remotely on my dating horizon) Anyway, after looking over the menu (which is pretty extensive) I decide what I really want is a cheese quesadilla. Sounds good, right? But, when I order it, they don’t have any tortillas!!! Of course! Murphy got me!! And now, that’s the only thing I want…I can’t find anything else on the menu that even sounds good! WHY??? Anyone else have that happen…when a restaurant is out of something, it’s like the ONLY thing you can even imagine eating??  I’m just imagining Murphy running around the streets of Culver City with a satchel full of tortillas just laughing at my misfortune!

Ok, so my coffeehouse crush just leaned across the counter to ask if I wanted him to make me a grilled cheese instead (an item that is not on the menu), since they DO have bread. Well, that does still involve hot cheese…which I have to admit I have a weakness for (I mean, how can anyone say that hot cheese isn’t the business…enchiladas, quesadillas, nachos, grilled cheese…too good!) So, I order the grilled cheese…laughing right back in Murphy’s face! And smiling at the fact that my coffeehouse crush is cooking something just for me…so maybe this Law isn’t all bad…I’ll have to thank Murphy next time I see him, cuz he won't get the best of me…and THAT’S WHAT!

The Journey to Good Hair

Here’s What…

A girl will do a lot for good hair

Today I took 3 buses and a train to get my hair done! Well, it was also to have a playdate with one of my dear friends, but he is my stylist and is going to do my hair :) I am a girl who lives in LA and takes public transportation…yep it’s true. I sold my car last August and now rely on buses, trains, and my feet to get me where I need to go. It’s actually not as challenging as one might think although there are times when it can get slightly irritating. It has definitely caused me to prioritize where I want to/need to go and I save a bundle not paying for car insurance, registration, or gas!!

So, today I set off from my place in Mar Vista to make the journey over to Toluca Lake. This would only take about a ½ hour driving, but on public transpo the trip was an hour and a ½. I have been spoiled over the last 2 months as I have been able to borrow my Dad’s car to travel back and forth while I’ve been working in San Diego. But, now it’s back to the buses and joining the subculture of people who take them. And there definitely is a public transpo subculture!! Rolling suitcases are a big part of the equation, as are people fighting with someone on their cell phone, loud rap music playing out of an ipod, and even sometimes someone walking up and down the aisle ranting about some kind of worldly injustice. I’ll tell you one thing though, it’s never boring!

Sometimes I pretend I’m on vacation, like a tourist taking the public transpo in Chicago or Boston to go to some fun and exciting destination. Like Navy Pier or the USS Constitution. Ultimately, I’m in training for NYC…I’m hoping to move there later this year and now I’ll be an expert at living life with no car…taking bags of extra clothes, my computer, water bottles, snacks, and even a little airline bottle of rum with me on my travels (it has happened folks!)

My trip today included grabbing the Metro train at the Hollywood/Highland station…which is ALWAYS a treat! (Dynamite people watching on Hollywood Blvd…arguably the best around) I saw an Elmo, a Dora, and a Chuckie offering to take pictures with tourists for tips. Man, I should really get in on that action…I don’t have a job right now and I could use some income! Unfortunately, the only costume I own is an old Rainbow Brite Halloween costume…I wonder if anyone wants a picture with Rainbow Brite? Might be worth a try…

I also saw a sign warning about the Day of Judgment when apparently Jesus will be joining us all here on Earth…it is May 21^st for those of you who may not have gotten the memo. Which means we have exactly 69 days to get our s*@# together. So, how did they come up with that date? What is the significance there? It is a Saturday night, so maybe Jesus wants to make sure he is in time for some nightlife (maybe martinis at Boa??)…but I would caution him to go easy…no one wants a hangover on a Sunday morning at church! Whatever the method used to determine the Day of Judgment, I’m just happy we at least get Cinco de Mayo in beforehand. (I’m just sayin’ I won’t be passing up one last enchilada)

So, here I sit at the Coffee Bean waiting for my friend to get home to get this hair thing going…I used to be blonde and just went to dark brunette on New Year’s Day…still getting used to it but committed to the change at least for the year…and being a trendy female (that’s debatable as I shop at Target) I don’t trust just anyone to touch my hair…which is why I find myself riding 3 buses and a train, sitting in a coffee shop waiting, and even worrying about the Day of Judgment all to get to my stylist’s house. 

Like I said, a girl will do a lot for beautiful hair…and THAT’S WHAT!

 

Single at Starbucks

So, Here’s what…

Being single is sometimes a choice

I had a topic on which I was planning to blog today, but as I sat down in Starbucks to get writing, I overheard a conversation and decided I needed to write about that instead. I’m down in San Diego for my last weekend of shows with Moonlight Stage Productions and I have hours to kill before my call time, so I wandered into a neighborhood Starbucks to grab a coffee and hit the Internet. After I ordered my coffee, I proceeded to set myself up at a table and realized that sitting next to me are two older gentlemen (that seem to be regulars here) who are talking about every woman that enters the store. One is too large, one is too skinny (look like she’s from Auschwitz was the comment made!), one would look better with a different hairstyle. They spent a full 10 minutes discussing how if a woman wants to be successful on TV, she should be beautiful, thin, and blonde, otherwise who wants to watch her?? (Yes, these are real comments) I began to think I was sitting next to a horribly overweight and vastly more ignorant version of the old men who heckle the muppets on The Muppet Show!

Then my order is called, with the famous Starbucks disclaimer “out of order” (which I find hilarious, like someone might jump across the counter and scratch out the eyes of the barista that is passing over their extra hot, half caf, soy, upside down caramel macchiato to make someone else’s drink first) and when I return from the bar and sit down with my iced coffee, I overhear the following from one of the hecklers, “It’s kinda sad when you see a woman that never got married. You have to wonder did she miss her chance or maybe she’s a lesbian.” (Yep, that’s a direct quote ladies and gentlemen!) I took a few deep breaths to ensure that I did not make a scene and call this asshole out in the middle of SBux (and after the insane day I had earlier this week, my fuse is short but I won’t go into that story, I think it’s still too fresh)…and then I started thinking about the fact that I am a 33 year old independent woman who is not and has never been married.

According to this man, I have missed my chance…or maybe I’m a lesbian. Well, I’m no lesbian and I will never subscribe to the belief that I have missed my chance (as if there is only one chance in this life anyway). I’ve had relationships in my life, I’ve lived with someone, I’ve fallen in love more than once, I’ve even met a soulmate…but I haven’t gotten married. Does this somehow make me some kind of sad case to other people?? I have to admit, I do have a couple friends that seem to always make me feel awkward about being single, but I think it’s just because I am not making the same choices they are and that is hard for them to understand. The whole idea of getting married, having babies, and buying a house with a white picket fence in a neighborhood with planned parks and 2 car garages is just not for me. And that’s a choice I’ve made, not something I’ve missed out on.  

As I thought more about it, I remembered something I was asked by the last guy I dated…one night he asked me how I felt about being single at my age (you know, like if I was 23 it would be understandable but at 33 shouldn’t I feel differently about it)…he said that he had a friend that was freaking out about it and he wondered why I wasn’t. I answered him with my truth and I’ll tell you all now as well…I’m really good at being single, I’m independent and strong and I take care of myself…I want a partner that challenges me and inspires me and adds to my life story, someone that gives me butterflies (I think Carrie Bradshaw refers to that feeling as the Zsa Zsa Zsu)…I’m not willing to settle…I don’t think of it as being “single at my age”, I think of it as being single until I meet someone that makes me not want to be.

So to anyone out there following along, watch out for ignorant men at SBux and stay tuned for my next blog when I will tackle the topic I was going to today (which I’ve just realized may be a small continuation of this theme)…I’ll give you this teaser, “Fruit Salad”

Until then…“Single” is not a disease inflicted on lesbians and women who have missed some chance they had to get married…it’s a choice made by people who won’t be settling for anything less than butterflies…and THAT’S WHAT!!

Join my entertaining life...already in progress

So, here’s what…

I’m a Blogger now…adding to my current list of Actor, Singer, Dancer, Daughter, Friend, Rum Drinker, Coffee Addict, Painter, Web Series Writer, Financially Challenged Woman, Comedian, Teacher, Learner, Director, Bus Rider, Knee High Wearer, Master Manifester, Positive Lightworker, and Snorter (when I laugh)

I’ll be sharing observations, thoughts, quips, and musings on the adventures in my life…all with my own recognizable sarcasm and hilarity. Enjoy the read…and the ride!!

Here’s what...

Today I am sitting at the coffee house across the street from my house…The Rumor Mill. Funny name, do they mill rumors here? Does everyone sit around and gossip about silly things they have heard about the people sitting next to them? Nope…just a neighborhood coffee house with loads more personality than SBux and the requisite “mom & pop” higher prices…and great music on the radio!!

How many times have you thought or been told the following: “Your life is crazy…you couldn’t write that if you tried…how do you always get into situations like that?...you can’t be serious…weird things only happen to me when I’m with you…there’s no way you actually dated a guy that did that”…ETC. Well, my friends say things like that to me ALL THE TIME. I seem to have a knack for implausible adventures…things that seem unreal and ridiculous, but are in fact situations I experience. I’ve decided it may be time to share them with a larger audience…and that’s where you come in.

So, for now, it’s nice to “virtually” meet you J and I’m looking forward to becoming “virtual” friends…follow along in my crazy life and prepare to laugh along with me because even when my life gets challenging, you’ll hear me snorting…and THAT’S what!